Mislilac wrote:Lily, you are saying that only the motivation for one's giving is important, and the end result isn't. I have to disagree,
I'm glad you disagree with that, because it's not what I said at all. The end result would be the good that comes from what you do, and it is every bit as important as ones motivation. You can be generous without really bringing about any good, or you may have less than honorable motives that nevertheless bring about some good. Neither of those will have the impact of a truly altruistic act that brings about a positive change in the life of another.
I don't know if your example of the auto accident is a good one. I can't imagine a situation where financial gain were more of a motive to save someone's life than a basic respect for life. Even if I had some reason to place a lower value on this person's life, I don't think money would motivate me to save him anyway. If I did, I don't think I could walk away feeling like I've done something good. That would not be charity. I don't see how my definition says it is.
I question my motives a lot. It's easy to rationalize and convince ourselves we're doing the right thing, when we're really just looking out for ourselves. Even doing something just because it makes us feel good can make us overlook the impact it has. There are times, when even our good motives are not reflected in the end result, and I wonder if we can still say we've done something good.
A few years ago, I was a year or so out of an abusive relationship, and struggling emotionally and financially. A woman who I had not seen in years suddenly popped back into my life, in need of help. I knew enough about this woman's history to know she should not be trusted, but I also knew enough to have compassion for her. Maybe this was the chance she needed to break away from her past. Maybe she just needed someone to believe in her, to trust her. I have to admit to financial difficulties of my own, and saw the potential benefit to myself. We could help each other. I knew it was risky, but I saw real good that could come of this. So she moved in. To make a long story short, she ripped me off and left me even deeper in the hole, and placed an even greater emotional strain on my family.
I cannot see any good that has come from this. I really did have the best of intentions, but it brought only harm. Even if I had not been in dire straights, I believe I would have done the same, and seen the same result. Understanding that, I know I would not do it again. It's not that I have animosity toward her now, because I don't. I wouldn't do it again just because it wouldn't bring any positive change. My motives were just, and I was generous, but I do not consider this an act of charity, because no good came of it. I would never say that motives are more important than end result, but unless they are good, you cannot say you've done good regardless of the end result, so they need to be examined. There are a lot of people who give to make themselves feel good, or even look good, without really caring what good it does. They call it charity, but it's not, it's just another thing they do to feel good. True charity involves good motives that bring good results.
